It is a well documented fact that while The Queen has two birthdays a year and dogs have 7 birthdays a year (or however that works), I don’t have any birthdays at all. I gave them up in a bid to remain forever young and free of birthday remorse (a bit like buyer’s remorse but with more wrinkles) but I see it happen to others. To be honest I am just repulsed by the atrocity that is ‘the birthday cake’. There’s an old joke which theorises that birthday cake causes wrinkles; the more birthday cakes ...
Ok...disclaimer first. I am not a 911 operator..Im a carpenter..this work is totally fiction! I am currently in the profession of saving lives. I go to work and save freakin' lives. I am a virtual shield; a telephonic Thor, if you like?, to thousands of scared and incompetent people. My weapon of choice isn't a sawed off Winchester or Rick Grimes six-shooter. Nah, man. I'm strapped and riding dirty with a headset, yo.! Every day I raise that sucker ...
Okay, I’m going to take a rare and brazen stab at politics. Well, it seems that any ninny is doing so and I see no reason why my lack of jam roly-poly education and economic credentials should hold me back. Since time immemorial governing bodies have pondered how best to fund the roads, drains and armies that serve the good people... and the duck castles that festoon the lakes in their second country piles. Taxation has always been the answer but in varied forms; once upon a somewhen, it was the ...
I recently had a discussion with a man about fellatio vs cunnilingus. As a general rule, my opinion on cunnilingus is.... if you want to eat it, tuck in, but I won’t shame you if you’d rather not, there are many ways to pleasure a woman. However, what I DO object to is the implication that it’s far more onerous to ask someone to give cunnilingus than it is to ask for a blow job. The twit said:“The ***** is a simple thing – it’s hard to get things completely wrong.” ARE YOU ****TING ME, SUNSHINE? ...
The subject I'm about to rant about is...well...me? I feel I'm educated and experienced enough to give a full account of me..due to the fact that I know just how stupid I can be sometimes, you know? Take the "Decorating" experience, for instance Now..I'm intelligent enough to know that you would never paint a stairwell using a ladder..with wheels on the bottom of it..everyone else with a little common sense would know this too..right? ...
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