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  1. Hunger Games

    So , Iím supposed to keep some of what I eat down . Well thatís not happening. In order to go home next week I have to eat and not use the blue bags . Well my view is I can see everything so can they. So no hiding . I still have 2 hellish treatments left and my counts higher and eat . I told my team how about 2 out of 3 ? The didnít seem that amused . So .... we both keep trying. At this point I just want to go home so Iíll try to play their game . Now to chug this jello . KO

    Updated 04-13-2018 at 11:07 AM by KayOss

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  2. My Guys

    Two of my guys came to see me yesterday . We talked about everything. We even discussed when I finished my degree in CRJ and joined them on the team . Firstly they were not happy a girl was going to be on their team . So the conversations were , we are not going to help you, we donít want you on our team , you will be held to the highest of standards, you are going to risk our lives , and our wives/girlfriends are not going to be happy . I told them no to worry I could hold my own and theirs if ...
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  3. Time _out

    I think I need a time out and get off all social media at until I get my emotions under control and my cancer under control.

    The shrink came by today I wondered how long it would take . He asked the usual shrink questions and I answered they way shrinks want you too . I only deviated by talking about still loving JackWagon. He was concerned about that, he even said I need to close that chapter of my book . Great ! Now tell me how . He gave me a few examples which I have not tried ...

    Updated 04-10-2018 at 11:52 AM by KayOss

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  4. Dear Loved Ones

    Dear loved ones, I am trying very hard. I sugar ~ coat most of what I feel and the test . This is extremely tough . I think its the toughest thing I have ever done . When I want to give up and just live however more years I have left, I think of you and I just can't . I also when I'm not on social isolation go to the little kids ward , then I feel like a sissy . Those little ones fight so hard. Then I fee like weakling and fight harder. I am far from perfect , but I am accountable for everything ...
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  5. MM

    So my MM came to see me. It was great to see him. He was a bit shocked to see me . Seems laying down most of the time and the treatments wear on how I look.
    He was glad that my counts were up so that maybe next weekend I could get out of here for the weekend. What scares me is he has that falling in love with me look. So, I brought it up . " you can't fall in love with me we've only know each other 3 weeks . I have a spouse you have a spouse. I am still in love with jack-wagon . So then ...
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