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  1. Time _out

    I think I need a time out and get off all social media at until I get my emotions under control and my cancer under control.

    The shrink came by today I wondered how long it would take . He asked the usual shrink questions and I answered they way shrinks want you too . I only deviated by talking about still loving JackWagon. He was concerned about that, he even said I need to close that chapter of my book . Great ! Now tell me how . He gave me a few examples which I have not tried ...

    Updated 04-10-2018 at 11:52 AM by KayOss

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  2. Dear Loved Ones

    Dear loved ones, I am trying very hard. I sugar ~ coat most of what I feel and the test . This is extremely tough . I think its the toughest thing I have ever done . When I want to give up and just live however more years I have left, I think of you and I just can't . I also when I'm not on social isolation go to the little kids ward , then I feel like a sissy . Those little ones fight so hard. Then I fee like weakling and fight harder. I am far from perfect , but I am accountable for everything ...
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  3. MM

    So my MM came to see me. It was great to see him. He was a bit shocked to see me . Seems laying down most of the time and the treatments wear on how I look.
    He was glad that my counts were up so that maybe next weekend I could get out of here for the weekend. What scares me is he has that falling in love with me look. So, I brought it up . " you can't fall in love with me we've only know each other 3 weeks . I have a spouse you have a spouse. I am still in love with jack-wagon . So then ...
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  4. Sleep

    Iíve always had insomnia however this hospital stay has brought it to a new level. I take cat naps. Which is kinda weird Iím not a big fan of cats . I had one once and that cat slept most of the day and night. Iím doing neither . I have dogs . They sleep when I sleep , which is usually between midnight and 4 or 5 am . So I went to sleep around 10 ish and the nurse came in around 11ish so Iím awake . I ask if these are any tests ordered for the rest of her shift she said no , and gave me something ...
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  5. visit

    My youngest son came to see me today. He has always had the most tender heart . I could hear him before I saw him . The nurse was trying to let him know I might look a little different than when he saw me last , He said Ms.nurse I've seen my momma in all kinds of not good places in all kinds of hospitals , I think I got this .He tried not to looked shocked ,he did his best to hold his tears. He just grabbed me and started to cry . I just held him while he cried . When he was finished he asked wtf ...
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