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CoolHeat

Self Rant

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The subject I'm about to rant about is...well...me?

I feel I'm educated and experienced enough to give a full account of me..due to the fact that I know just how stupid I can be sometimes, you know?
Take the "Decorating" experience, for instance

Now..I'm intelligent enough to know that you would never paint a stairwell using a ladder..with wheels on the bottom of it..everyone else with a little common sense would know this too..right?

Yet occasionally...my little angel of wisdom (from this moment forward, I think Im going to refer to him as sh8thead)..who sits upon my left shoulder, will pop up suddenly and say sh8t like "Nahhh...don't worry about it mate!..just put the wheels to the top of the wall..and everything will turn out just dandy!..plus!..you don't have to go searching for something more practical as well...win/win!"

I still have the eight inch scar on my calf to remind me that I shouldn't always listen to Sh8thead *sigh*

When I was a young lad, Sh8thead once told me to go get the football from the roof of a local factory..and that "the bit of wood , fastened by two precariously unstable bits of wire" would be a smashing place to put my foot to give me a boost up.
Twenty feet later, with the breath knocked out of me, lying on the pavement Sh8thead looked down at me puzzled, remarking "well..I didn't see that happening?" (Do you all want to kill Sh8thead as much as I do?"

Sh8thead is the one who sees plugs lying around in the dark, but reckons that if I don't put the light on..Ill be competent enough to swerve around them.
He makes me wear leather soled Brogues in Icy conditions telling me that they have "the best grip known to mankind"

I will give him his due though. Sh8thead was nowhere to be seen the day I totally forgot that it wasn't an electric screwdriver I was using...but an electric drill, and that you cant grab a hold of the chuck on an electric drill to open it, the way you can with an electric screwdriver. The drill was having none of this malarky..promptly spun round in my hand (taking a fair swath of skin with it) jumped up..hit me under the chin..and knocked me unconscious.

I could go on forever with mishaps and maladies..but what I'm basically ranting at..is that I'm too impetuous at times I rush in where angels fear to tread (apart from lil Sh8thead that is)..the accidents are of my own making, and if I only slowed down from time time to time, Sh8thead and I would have a much more harmonious relationship altogether!

Rant over.
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Comments

  1. SpoiledBrat's Avatar
    Ok... you REALLY need to start youtubing your everyday adventures....
  2. CoolHeat's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by SpoiledBrat
    Ok... you REALLY need to start youtubing your everyday adventures....
    What?..you weren't satisfied with "The Elastic Band" experience???
  3. pvtdancer's Avatar
    I wanna hear sh8theads side of these shenanigans!
  4. CoolHeat's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by pvtdancer
    I wanna hear sh8theads side of these shenanigans!
    Hire a medium..I buried him under the patio some years ago