I am sure you won't be alone
I am sure you won't be alone
I feel lonely, just lonely.
sigh... lonliness is something I am living with currently... have lived with all my life... and something that has to be fought..
I was lonely growing up with a lot of cousins..
I was lonely in boot camp with 30 other women..
I was lonely in the Navy with many people always surrounding me..
I was lonely in my marriage... my kids kept me from going insane... they made things less lonely... until they went to school.. then I started to volunteer.. I wasn't so lonely then.. I had things that kept me busy...
lately... I work a lot.. and that is because I am afraid to be home alone during the weekends.. I am afraid of spending all my time online... I hate going out to dinner alone.. but I do it... I go to the movies... I do things... but I still come home to an empty house night after night.. I feed my pets.. I talk to them.. I play with them.. but they don't talk back.. I hope that my friend is able to stay awake so I can talk to someone.. anyone on my way home... she normally can't.. I wake up to quiet.. I go to sleep to quiet.. and although sometimes I enjoy it... most times... it makes me sad.. I have pushed many friends away... so I don't talk to hardly anyone anymore.. and that makes it even lonlier.. but it is all of my own creation... and I must live with it.. so I got a kitten... something to make me laugh to make me feel young again.. something to watch grow and to take care of... I fight the depression and lonliness on a daily basis.. and I do not allow anyone to pity me... I do enough of that myself..
and you don't have to live alone to feel this.. as I pointed out above.. I am beginning to think it is similar to depression.. and perhaps a sickness..
I feel lonely at times but I'm beginning to think that I enjoy being by myself than with anyone around me.
This is for a blissful young lady that I'm fond of, I don't know where I got it, if I posted even if I wrote it....but we all feel this way once in a while. Life seems to blind side us, kick our ass, spit in our face, the dogs bite, the children run away and this is the question: Do you ever get that feeling where you don't want to talk to anybody? You don't want to smile and you don't want to fake being happy. But at the same time you don't know exactly what's wrong either. There isn't a way to explain it to someone who doesn't already understand. If you could want anything in the world it would be to be alone. People have stopped being comforting and being along never was. At least when you're alone no one will constantly ask you what is wrong and there isn't anyone who won't take 'I don't know' for an answer. You feel the way you do just because. You hope the feeling will pass soon and that you will be able to be yourself again, but until then all you can do is wait.
After reading this again today...I did write it..it has a signature statement of mine..."Life seems to blind side us, kick our ass, spit in our face, the dogs bite, the children run away"
Last edited by alex1; 08-20-2010 at 01:14 AM.
I have to congratulate myself.. for I am breaking free of that.. I do things to entertain myself.. I go to visit my daughter who has moved closer.. I am making friends at work and I am visiting with them.. I am being myself and if I want to say hi to someone.. I do it..
I have put the things in the past finally... the things that helped create my lonliness... the people who choose to ignore my cries for help.. the people who choose to be vindictive and cruel.. and I am reaching for the stars... making it happen for me.. as I have so often wanted to do!
No one can help... no one wants to help... so you have to do for yourself!
I am married and lonely, the spark is just not there.....I have never cheated on him, but been tempted a couple of times. Feeling needed is so important for human beings and i think that is what leads us into temptation at times. We need to feel loved and wanted.
I have 5 siblings and i love own company, i have felt lonely on far away work trips, alone in cambodia or Abu Dhabi etc