Page 1 of 20 12311 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 197

Thread: Monogamy

  1. #1
    Succubus Wiggily Tulip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Age
    48
    Posts
    7,997
    Post Thanks / Like
    Points
    17,837.26
    Bank
    0.00
    Total Points
    17,837.26
    Donate
    Its not a cup cake, but close! - Beauty 

    Default Monogamy

    Do you believe in it? Think that it is really possible? Do you consider yourself a monogomous person?

  2. #2
    And That's All She Wrote katydid's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Land of Entrapment
    Age
    54
    Posts
    1,904
    Post Thanks / Like
    Points
    3,179.40
    Bank
    0.00
    Total Points
    3,179.40
    Donate
    Happy Easter ! - Songbird It is good to have you here. - princesspink Enjoy your day!!!  Hugs - princesspink 

    Default

    I don't believe we're designed for monogamy. Divorce rates and affair rates are too high to suggest anything else. I was monogamous for the first 13 years of my marriage. I didn't have a problem with it then. But, as his attention and affection dropped off, the more trouble I had being with him only. I began an online affair. I think if that satisfies a married person's need for more attention, affection or whatever is missing, then it is preferable to a physical affair with someone local. I'm divorced now, but I suppose at the end of my marriage, I was not monogamous. I stayed in the marriage though, I believe, in large part because I had an online/phone affair. If he had not been so emotionally abusive, I might still be married.

  3. #3
    Away with the fairies soulseeker's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Somewhere in the Queendom of the UK
    Age
    65
    Posts
    9,812
    Post Thanks / Like
    Points
    28,918.00
    Bank
    0.00
    Total Points
    28,918.00
    Donate

    Default

    Yes I believe in it and yes I believe that it is possible.
    The term used to mean one partner for life I believe, but in modern terms it means one partner at a time, so yes, that's what I believe in.
    *

    * When the world says give up, Hope whispers, "Try it one more time" *

  4. #4
    Succubus Wiggily Tulip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Age
    48
    Posts
    7,997
    Post Thanks / Like
    Points
    17,837.26
    Bank
    0.00
    Total Points
    17,837.26
    Donate
    Its not a cup cake, but close! - Beauty 

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by katydid View Post
    I don't believe we're designed for monogamy. Divorce rates and affair rates are too high to suggest anything else. I was monogamous for the first 13 years of my marriage. I didn't have a problem with it then. But, as his attention and affection dropped off, the more trouble I had being with him only. I began an online affair. I think if that satisfies a married person's need for more attention, affection or whatever is missing, then it is preferable to a physical affair with someone local. I'm divorced now, but I suppose at the end of my marriage, I was not monogamous. I stayed in the marriage though, I believe, in large part because I had an online/phone affair. If he had not been so emotionally abusive, I might still be married.
    Maybe some of us are designed for monogamy for a certain amount of years. Maybe we should have manogamy contract negotiations every five to ten years? LOL.

    I go back and fourth on this issue. I consider myself a manogamous person. But probably more in a "serial manogamy" way. We all as people change, our needs change,and to think we are the only one our partner will ever find attractive isn't really the most realistic expectation I sopose. But it's hard to tell my emotions that when I'm involved with someone at the same time.
    Last edited by Wiggily Tulip; 10-30-2011 at 12:42 PM.

  5. #5
    pin head's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    dark side of the moon
    Age
    55
    Posts
    18,364
    Post Thanks / Like
    Points
    16,144.08
    Bank
    0.00
    Total Points
    16,144.08
    Donate

    Default

    monogamy, such a beautiful wood,,,, oops that's mahogany.
    Interesting question. I wonder if perhaps we waited till we were a little older before getting married if it would change things. Sometimes i think perhaps for a lot of us it's natural to have a "2 phase" life. The first of course is the one that normally results in the family we raise. The second one being the relationship typically started with more of an idea of what we are looking for out of life.
    But hey, i'm a pin head so this is just rambling.
    “Don’t let your mind wander, Its too little to be let out alone.”

  6. #6
    Succubus Wiggily Tulip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Age
    48
    Posts
    7,997
    Post Thanks / Like
    Points
    17,837.26
    Bank
    0.00
    Total Points
    17,837.26
    Donate
    Its not a cup cake, but close! - Beauty 

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pin head View Post
    monogamy, such a beautiful wood,,,, oops that's mahogany.
    Interesting question. I wonder if perhaps we waited till we were a little older before getting married if it would change things. Sometimes i think perhaps for a lot of us it's natural to have a "2 phase" life. The first of course is the one that normally results in the family we raise. The second one being the relationship typically started with more of an idea of what we are looking for out of life.
    But hey, i'm a pin head so this is just rambling.
    Yeah.....if you find the better match at the right time, maybe it's easier?

  7. #7
    Enjoy
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    In the shadows of my mind
    Age
    54
    Posts
    30,356
    Post Thanks / Like
    Points
    118,669.00
    Bank
    0.00
    Total Points
    118,669.00
    Donate

    Default

    Monogamy -- Mono meaning one -- being with only one person at any given time, is, as PinHead so astutely observed a beautiful concept. I believe that the concept is wonderful, sound, and when/if you find the right person a wonderful life. There are times, however, when it comes to a point where two who once committed themselves to each other, may tear each other apart. A time when the relationship is destructive, hurtful, or demeaning.

    I go back and forth on what commitment means (the real crux of the matter). Is it a life-long commitment to the relationship, to being with only that person? What does it mean to break the commitment, the covenant you have made with another? Is it broken the first time a lie is told? Is it broken the first time we look at another and long for them? Is it broken when one or the other in the relationship no longer lives up to their part? Is it broken when the other says, "Hey, I don't love you, I'll live with you, suck you dry, take all I can get for the sake of the kids?" Is it broken when they look at you and say (as was said to me), "I don't love you and making love to you makes me feel like a whore." ? Always wished my come back would have been, "But you're not a whore just taking my money, time and effort to pay off your debt, raise your kids, and provide a good living for you to sit on your lazy ass all day?"

    Many things can 'adulterate' a marriage. It doesn't have to be physical unfaithfulness.

    I'm not bitter ....

  8. #8
    Enjoy
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Age
    46
    Posts
    4,235
    Post Thanks / Like
    Points
    2,515.00
    Bank
    0.00
    Total Points
    2,515.00
    Donate

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Wiggily Tulip View Post
    Maybe some of us are designed for monogamy for a certain amount of years. Maybe we should have manogamy contract negotiations every five to ten years? LOL.

    I go back and fourth on this issue. I consider myself a manogamous person. But probably more in a "serial manogamy" way. We all as people change, our needs change,and to think we are the only one our partner will ever find attractive isn't really the most realistic expectation I sopose. But it's hard to tell my emotions that when I'm involved with someone at the same time.
    Im a firm believer that marriage licenses should expire and have to be renewed like any other license..divorce rates drop..and the world is a happier place. I believe in monogamy when both ppl are getting everything they need physically and emotionally from their partner..but when something is missing..people generally try and go find it. Just glad im done trying to find what was missing.

  9. #9
    And That's All She Wrote katydid's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Land of Entrapment
    Age
    54
    Posts
    1,904
    Post Thanks / Like
    Points
    3,179.40
    Bank
    0.00
    Total Points
    3,179.40
    Donate
    Happy Easter ! - Songbird It is good to have you here. - princesspink Enjoy your day!!!  Hugs - princesspink 

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pin head View Post
    monogamy, such a beautiful wood,,,, oops that's mahogany.
    Interesting question. I wonder if perhaps we waited till we were a little older before getting married if it would change things. Sometimes i think perhaps for a lot of us it's natural to have a "2 phase" life. The first of course is the one that normally results in the family we raise. The second one being the relationship typically started with more of an idea of what we are looking for out of life.
    But hey, i'm a pin head so this is just rambling.
    This would fall into the category of serial monogamy. What is interesting about this is that although there seems to be a proliferation of younger members at the other site I go to, I would imagine the mean average is around 40-45. Also, many of the members have children already.

    I am divorced. My ex-husband is 12 years older than me. Since my divorce however, the men I am interested in are mostly younger than me. And, the age seems to keep dropping which is beginning to frighten me. Anyway, that is who I am attracted to primarily.

    So with your theory, perhaps there is a certain "type" you marry to mate with. And then another "type" you marry after that relationship is over with. Married only in the sense of a commitment made between two people.

    And, Wiggily, I believe in Mexico City they are considering creating a law where marriages (in the traditional sense) only stay valid for two years. At that point, there is a decision to be made. Either stay or go. I like this idea. It has designed into it, things such as alimony, property issues, custody issues. It would have been nice to have decided not to marry my ex-husband again. I would miss my second child however.

  10. #10
    And That's All She Wrote katydid's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    Location
    Land of Entrapment
    Age
    54
    Posts
    1,904
    Post Thanks / Like
    Points
    3,179.40
    Bank
    0.00
    Total Points
    3,179.40
    Donate
    Happy Easter ! - Songbird It is good to have you here. - princesspink Enjoy your day!!!  Hugs - princesspink 

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by gambit View Post


    Im a firm believer that marriage licenses should expire and have to be renewed like any other license..divorce rates drop..and the world is a happier place. I believe in monogamy when both ppl are getting everything they need physically and emotionally from their partner..but when something is missing..people generally try and go find it. Just glad im done trying to find what was missing.
    I was writing too much of course and missed this. Mexico City appears to be thinking about this seriously.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •