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Thread: Monogamy

  1. #21
    And That's All She Wrote katydid's Avatar
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    Happy Easter ! - Songbird It is good to have you here. - princesspink Enjoy your day!!!  Hugs - princesspink 

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wiggily Tulip View Post
    I don't think I could stay then. If I didn't love my husband anymore. Not for all that (I feel) is required out of a marriage. I do think that the love you have for your spouse can change over time tho. And maybe you aren't "in love" anymore but that love changes to something a little more familial.
    (I know...I pulled THAT thread today too.) LOL.
    (I saw. Did you see my response?)

    While divorce definitely loomed in our future, I wanted to put it off for a few years (FOUR! OMG) so my daughter graduated from high school and my son was older. I was, unhappily, making a decision based on our children's happiness. But, when my ex-husband's anger and bitterness towards me turned to my children, the situation became intolerable for me. I did NOT love him then. I had not loved him for a long time. But, I stayed and had he been a different man~ not so angry and resentful about everything, I might still be married. Even without love. But, it would be BECAUSE of something outside myself. My children.

  2. #22
    More to me than you think MusingSix4's Avatar
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    Monogamy, sure I believe in it, in REAL LIFE...

    There are TONS of monogamous couples out there. I think we tend to think it's less cause MANY of us here, and on other sites, are married and flirting online so we tend to think everyone is cheating (or whatever word you want to use)...

    Now online, I personally think monogamy is a JOKE. Sure, it may last a while, but I have seen first hand too many supposedly exclusive people, both male and female NOT honoring their vow/promise/word of exclusivity.

    There is just so much less accountability online than there is in the real world.

    Maybe they are exclusive to you on a site you both are on, but with 5 other people on 5 other sites...?

    Maybe they are exclusive with you on yahoo but with someone else on skype...?

    See what I mean...?

    Scoff all you want, I have been online MANY years, talked to enough people, seen it enough times, even participated in the act of NOT being exclusive while supposedly exclusive (how is THAT for honest) to know that monogamy is not a term that works well online...
    Your questions to me...tell me as much about you...as my answers tell you about me...

  3. #23
    And That's All She Wrote katydid's Avatar
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    Happy Easter ! - Songbird It is good to have you here. - princesspink Enjoy your day!!!  Hugs - princesspink 

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    I don't disagree that monogamy online is a difficult thing to achieve. But, then I think the odds are against people in the offline world. Why would it be any different here? Here we wear other people's clothes and bodies, adopt different names, portray someone else. I don't visit five other sites (I didn't even know five existed~ maybe you can tell me all their names), but in my main hangout I feel accountable to one person for my actions. I don't "owe" him anything, but because we choose to be together, I try to be as honest with him as possible.

    I just don't think it is possible to be monogamous with much success out in the offline world. Why would I feel any differently in here? And, yet I do believe in accountability for your behavior. Even if it is online. Maybe the only one you are accountable to is yourself, but that is not an easy thing for some of us. Add being accountable to another and it becomes harder.

    I don't think it is IMPOSSIBLE to be "monogamous" which isn't really an applicable term anyway since it involves marriage, in here or any other forum. I think it is HARD to be devoted only to one person alone regardless of the circumstances.

  4. #24
    " I'm not really here..." Singeon's Avatar
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    I tried it for 25 years..half a lifetime...a signature and witnesses...

    Fail.
    True happiness..isnt a destination...it's a way of life.
    May you find the way...:-)

  5. #25
    Enjoy everythingyoudreamof's Avatar
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    I used to believe in it, I don't anymore. I agree with Gambit, a marriage license should expire after two years and be available to renew in two year increments. As a quick reminder, an emotional affair is still an affair even if you never physically touch one another, just my take on it for those of you who swear your monogamous

  6. #26
    Enjoy darksoul66's Avatar
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    i want to be monogomous, but my sig other recently revealed info about her past which has effected us for almost 2 decades. this has opened up the pandoras box for me. i'm not sure where i will end up at this stage of my life, which i refer to as mid-life without the chains and bike. lol.

    i believe it is possible, but the search/discovery/re-discovery process is key to maintaining such a possibility.

  7. #27
    party de's Avatar
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    well each to their own i say i have been married for 36 yrs this year would i leave for another the grass is not always greener on the other side

  8. #28
    Flirt in Training Chickee's Avatar
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    I am happy to say that neither my husband or I have ever been with anyone else. We are both a little proud of this fact.

  9. #29
    Succubus Wiggily Tulip's Avatar
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    Monogamy online???
    Someone said to me today "You would feel more guilty about cheating on you online boyfriend than on your sick husband".

    Ouch.
    And yet...maybe true.

    With my husband....where we are...the situation we are in, I've had to learn to make peace with it & do what I need to do & not go insane.

    I've not been an angel online. I've cheated before. But it makes me feel horrible after. And yet.....I am not having sex in my marriage. And most of the other married people are. So...it's a little bit complicated. At the same time if I really open up & share....I don't want to be spreading it around all over town. I get attatched & want to only do that with that one person.

    Very very complicated. I guess I'm monogamous online by choice without being unrealistic about it or idiotic about it like I've been in the past????

  10. #30
    " I'm not really here..." Singeon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by party de View Post
    well each to their own i say i have been married for 36 yrs this year would i leave for another the grass is not always greener on the other side
    ever gone thru the gate and tried it?
    True happiness..isnt a destination...it's a way of life.
    May you find the way...:-)

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